SHYNESS

Shyness..
When I think about it..
It is the unspeakable, indescribable..

In the middle of a conversation
Somewhere, somehow, something just touches my heart..
With the magnificent strength..
Which makes me blush..

As I feel afraid and want to abundant myself..
I want to run and hide somewhere far far away..
Where not even a soul can reach but still..
You are there..
Like a shadow when I look back..
So loyal to follow..
Around and round and round..

And then I discovered..
Whatever you are..
Wherever you are..
Whenever you are..
You only have the power..
To confuse me without my conscious..
And now that I am conscious..
You cannot harm me..
For I will face you..
Ready or not..
Begone SHYNESS!!

School Life

Its been a long time since the last post. I'm have been very busy this few months..
Guess, I'm free now.. So I would like to tell about my school life..

I have schooling at SMT Sejingkat for a month. Its a technical secondary school. At first, I though that school was one of the best school because its the only technical school in Sarawak. But, its opposite that I though. Its was the worst school I ever been through. My former was SMK DPHA Gapor, Stampin and its was better than SMT Sejingkat.

The difference between SMT Sejingkat and SMK DPHA Gapor, Stampin were

SMT Sejingkat = Everybody speaking Malay
Majority Malay people and I don't like it (I'm quite a racist, but not so)
Feel humid every time (almost all the fan and air-con spoil)
Most of the teacher explain Mathematics and Science in Malay (they said they would explain in bilingual, but they lied)
Its a boarding school (I don't like staying in the hostel)
The co-curriculum were boring ( Only a few)

while

SMK DPHA Gapor, Stampin =
Majority speaking English
Majority Chinese (I'm a Chinese)
Not so humid compare with SMT Sejingkat
All the Mathematics and Science teacher explain in pure-English
The co-curriculum were the best (Many choices)

I'm so regret for transfer to a lousy school. Hopefully I will go back to SMK DPHA Gapor next week.. :)

(Sorry for the broken English, my English getting sucks)

My Life In This World

I'm just a person who lives in this cruel world..
A person who lives in this fearful world..
Afraid to take chances in this life..
Afraid to take a risk for changes..

I'm just a person who always smile..
For hiding my sadness from all people..
Nobody could not understanding my feelings..
How I wish I could share my problems with them..
But I don't dare and nobody care..

I'm just like a sheep without a shepherd..
Wolves have attacked me..
A thin sheep , with wounds and sores on its body..
The only thing I do is pray for rain to come and wash me clean so that I may be healthy and strong..

I'm just a human being with an ugly face..
And people just tease me as if they care..
How I wish I just be an animal..
So that I would never been tease and nobody care..

I'm just a human being who believe in Christianity..
And I believe God would help me..
Because of my hope and prayers to him..
The sadness of my life have been reduced..
Praise and thanks be to God, forever and ever..

I made this poem.. =)
(Sorry for the broken English, I not good in English anyway)

11/11/11

Its 11/11/11..!! And I just stay at home doing nothing.. =_=

Today was the last day of school for form 3 students in Malaysia..
Well, I'm gonna miss being a form 3 student and a Gaporian..
Maybe next year, I will transfer to other school...
SMK DPHA Gapor were the best school I ever had even though some peoples does not like me..
I have get 8 certificate, 1 medal and 1 trophy from this school...
Hopefully I achieve more from the school which I going to transfer next year..

BTW, HAPPY 11/11/11 EVERYONE!!

About Me And My Friends

The reason why I write about me and my friends because I am so bored.. xD

OK

My friend, Lorenzo, made this word about me..
Arine Valerie believed in old fashioned values. Things like; respect for God, the importance of family, and love of country. In fact Arine believed so strongly in her values that it was always a shock whenever she was confronted with those who didn't.

LOL, I'm totally agree about it.. xD

About my friend, Lorenzo Isaac..
Lorenzo is alot different than other boys, you see.Lorenzo don't play games like other boys, Lorenzo is not interested in having a girlfriend, and he likes to keep things neat and tidy. But what I remember most about Lorenzo was the look of fear in his eyes. Lorenzo had started to realize his world was unraveling. And for a boy who despised loose ends, that was unacceptable.
And
Lorenzo may be the potential for becoming a great man. But he didn't chose to be one, instead. He chose to be himself, and whenever he was being himself.He started to realize the mistake he done, but still he noticed that these thing are called Life and it was challenging, whether it's up for him to decide what's best for him.

Its true..

About my friend, Emma..
Emma is a tough women, sometimes being rude, sometimes being polite..
But she actually nice..

About my friend, Avie..
Avie almost similar with me.. Strong believe in Christianity.. Love her family..
She really funny and cute...

And last, my friend Natasha,
Natasha is a childish girl.. She do not care about her status... She really funny...
She know how to make people fell better...
Know how to make joke to cheer people up...

Thank You for reading it.. xD

Just Realize My Mistake

I still remember my friend told me about my attitude yesterday..
Now, I just realize that I do a big mistake that cause me lost a lot of friend..
Its my annoying attitude..

Actually, I have trying hard being myself..
It just that only few people accepted me and the others rejected me...

My friend told me to stop being annoying..
So, I rather stay quiet than hurt people feeling and lost friends again..

I know its my mistakes and because of it, many people hate me...

To those who know me, I'm so sorry..
I just being immature and can't control myself..
Sometimes, I do not know what I'm talking about..
It just me...

I'm so sorry if I force you for something..
I just realize that you're being yourself..
And I know I can't change you..

Please Forgive Me.. :'(

..Friendship..

Today, I just heard about my friend said that I don't talk to her today..
Actually, I was too busy concentrate with my studies until I don't even talk to anyone.. (except for a few person)
Its remind me about my past..
I still remember I lost a lot of friend since I was little..
I do lost some friends every year..

Sometimes, I do miss my old friends..
And I think about the stupid things I made last time until I lost my own friend, even best friend too..

This means I not really good in friendships...

I know last time I was immature...
But does not mean that I'm immature forever...
I do admit I was selfish and arrogant last time...
But now I'm not..

Sometimes, I do wish people to understand me...
Come on, we all human being...

You can't change people.. Only you can change yourself...
Just like I change myself.. But people don't really see it...
I was a tomboy last time, but now I'm not...
And I don't like people call me tomboy... >.<
(Seriously)..

..OR..

You can't force gay people to be straight...
You can't force emo people to be happy...
You can't force weird people to be normal...
It just the way they are and you who you are...
Just being yourself...

I do being who I am...
And some people just say bad things about me...
And I just don't care...
Because I know who I am...
I know I sometimes act weird but it just me...

All of us human being need friends to live...
To share something..
To make us happy..
To help us..
That whats friendship mean...
And I do understand it...

You can say bad things about me but please, are you telling the truth?
Judge yourself before you judge people...
Because one day you will feel how sad if you have less friends..
And that whats happen to me now...